Thank you for judging us!

Our beautiful son that Allah has blessed us with. Mashallah.

This blog post was posted by my wife and although I try to keep topics of racism and xenophobia off this blog, I was compelled to re-post a note that my wife posted on Facebook. Just as a reminder:

O mankind! Lo! We have created you male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that ye may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct. Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware. – Surah al-Hujurat 49:13

I cease to understand why people cannot live united without scrutiny and judgment.

I was in Brooklyn yesterday with Malik and Saud. We were in the Atlantic Avenue/Flatbush Avenue vicinity running errands and enjoying the sun. In the span of one hour I observed so much unsaid criticism that I was reaffirmed with the notion that people have no trust in one another and fear the different.

First scenario:

As we entered a halal meat market all seemed fine; or, so I thought. As we approached the butcher at the back of the store I started to feel an instant resentment. I couldn’t figure it out at first but later put two and two together. Before the butcher served us, he was helping an Palestinian woman. His tone was very respectful, extremely courteous and ever so attentive. After she was handed (by hand from butcher to lady) her goods, he respectfully greeted her with an “Asalaam Alaikum” and she was on her way.

Now, it was our turn to be helped. I noticed instantly that the butcher’s entire demeanor had shifted. He went from respectful and helpful to passive and dull. Malik began to order what we needed politely. Yet there was hardly any response from the butcher. He assisted us in an almost tomb-like manner avoiding eye contact when he could.

After our chicken and ground beef was sliced and cut, it was left on the counter top with no “Asalaam Alaikum,” “thank you,” “do you need anything else,” or even a head nod. He proceeded to talk to his fellow butchers’, share some jokes and cut a sheep. As he turned to carry the sheep onto the weighing scale, he realized we were still standing there. Yes, we still needed some more items. Malik spoke first, letting him know that we still needed to order some more items.

Malik proceeded to order chicken breasts. At this point I decided to interfere and speak in Arabic as I realized we were receiving such special treatment as he assumed we were not Arabs. In Arabic, I asked him to slice the chicken breasts thin. He responded automatically by mocking me. I had used a Saudi word for slice and he was Palestinian and did not think my term was appropriate. He mocked me by repeating my word twice and then saying in English “you mean slice.” I, in turn, reiterated my same term back to him twice. He realized I was not amused and silently continued to slice the chicken.

His demeanor changed a little after this brief encounter in Arabic and he decided to ask if we would like anything else. We said no thank you and proceeded to the check out counter.

Second scenario:

We were still at the meat market when two Muslim sisters walk in.
First, she proceeded to let the salesman know that she was unhappy with the Quran plaque being on the floor outside. I agree. The plaque should not be on the floor with Quranic verses and Allah’s names. However, it was HOW she approached him. She walked in and very disrespectfully says “the plaque…on the floor…there’s Allah’s name on it.” She said it in such a unclear and arrogant manner that the salesman was baffled at first, as was I, as I had no clue what she was mumbling about. A situation like that can be dealt with in one simple politely stated sentence…”sir, the Quran plaque that you have outside on the floor should be removed as it is haram.” End of story.

Second, the scrutiny Malik and I got from one of the two sisters was unbelievable. First, she heard Malik say, Inshallah. This automatically led to a glare at me from her. She looked me up and down then proceeded to look at Malik up and down too. This type of scrutiny of “where are they from?” “Why is she not in hijab?” or whatever else was going through her mind is totally un-Islamic. We should not be judging each other all the time without knowing.

Third, a non-Muslim Caucasian woman was in the store purchasing some items. The same Muslim woman who glared at me and Malik was now literally twisting her eyebrows up, curling her lip, glaring at this woman up and down while telling her friend “what is she doing in here?” through eye contact.

Third scenario:

Malik and I decided to do shopping at Atlantic Center Mall. Once again, the scrutiny begins. Now, instead of Arab Muslims or African American Muslim women glaring at Malik and I; it was now African American women glaring at us because we are an interracial couple. Amongst the many glares at Malik, then me, then Saud, then back up at Malik and I again; one particular woman stood out.

While at DSW standing in line at the cashier, this woman decides to completely stop her shopping spree to eyeball me and Malik. She was not discreet about it nor was she polite. She just stood near the bag section and glared at us both until we had finished paying and left the store.

I deal with this regularly but am utterly fed up with all this negativity. Whether it be Arabs, African Americans, Whites, Africans, Latino/as’, South East Asians or Caribbeans’; I am sick and tired of peoples glares, judgments, assumptions and scrutiny. I truly feel that people need to work on their biases and insecurities. People need to learn to be more tolerant of others regardless of race, religion, class and ethnicity. It is not mine, Malik’s nor Saud’s problem if you cannot deal with your own insecurities. Find another way to deal with it! And if one more person labels America as the great melting pot, I think I will have to slap some sense into their head.

Well, at least I enjoyed my fish and chips from the Chipshop.

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