As I walk up the New York City blocks I see the sprinkle of puffed red heart pillows with “I Love You”, stuffed teddy bears laced in red, big bright roses on display, a sea of red stained cards in the window and lets not forget the mind numbing television advertisements from Zales, DeBeers, Hallmark, 1-800 Flowers and countless others pushing their products like a drug dealer on the hunt for another crack sale. Sometimes I wonder: How many millions of men/women will be dragged along and exploited for gifts and merriment because Valentine of Terni was martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian? Why any human being in his or her right mind would obligate their significant other to mindlessly participate in a tradition that does not consider their true intentions and feelings is…well… disturbing, not to mention extremely unhealthy for the relationship. Below is an excerpt from a post a did a while back Why are our Relationships so Disastrous?. :
Valentine’s Day
By far the most hated, dreaded and feared day for hundreds of millions of young adult men around the world. I’ll never forget the first time I was indoctrinated with this pagan tradition. It usually starts out around kindergarten during an innocent class project where you create little valentines cards then give them to your classmates. For some daring students, they might give each other plastic flowers. Maybe we were even tasked to create a little Valentine’s Day card for our mother and father. We bring these little crayola stained pieces of construction paper home for our parents and there are instant smiles from ear to ear. Awww..how cute.
As the grades go by, and we enter into adulthood, somehow the stakes start getting a lot higher. The construction paper made card has now transformed to $5 dollar hallmark cards. The plastic flowers have now transformed to $100-$200 dollar roses. The McDonalds meal for 2 has now transformed to expensive dinners, and so on and so forth. Expensive gift exchanges for the so-called “sake of love”. The amazing part about this whole entire charade is not once, and I do mean this literally, once did any person ever ask me, “Do you want to express yourself to me in this way”? One of the biggest issues with Valentines Day is it’s a corporate tradition. A mindless tradition that has been imposed on men, with no consideration of our feelings or how we’d like to express ourselves. Just do what you are told and keep you mouth shut. No human being wants to be told how to do something and when they should do it, and if they don’t do it, they are seen as loveless and inconsiderate. What happened to the other 364 days of the year? Let me be clear, although most men don’t have the nerve to actually tell the truth about how they feel about Valentine’s Day, I’ll be the first to put out the truth. Most men hate this day. They do it with much contempt and actually resent you for imposing such a ridiculous pagan holiday on them. They do it, because they don’t want to hear you complain. Not all women do this, but I have talked to enough of my married friends, to know that they would rather jump into a pit of sharks than go through another mindless and imposed routine of Valentine’s Day.
How do you think a man feels when he has to bow down to a tradition because society says so? For the record I love my wife and don’t need the help of some foolish pagan tradition that was spawned from some Christian martyr name Valentine of Tern that was killed by Catholics in the 200th century. I find it ironic that the fans of Valentine’s Day talk about how important it is to feel special. Hmm…let’s look at the definition again, shall we?
Special: Surpassing what is common or usual; exceptional: a special occasion; a special treat.
It’s interesting that a person would feel special on a day that billions of people mindlessly do the same thing. Same ole overpriced flowers, over-crowded restaurants, stale chocolate, etc. “Joe” and “Jane” public expecting gifts and other forms of lavish treatment because of the killing of the now so-called St Valentine. I treat my wife like a queen everyday, and I don’t have to prove my love on Valentine’s Day. As if our whole entire relationship is riding on the perfection of this one day. I’m not saying that there aren’t some merits to spending quality time with your significant other and making them feel special, but how Valentine’s Day became the de-facto standard day of love is just ridiculous. Most men resent being financial fleeced for the so-called sake of love, and if they go against this day, they are treated like hot steaming pile of smelly garbage. No venom could be hotter than the criticism you’ll get if you don’t participate in the Valentine’s Day routine.
When you really love someone one, you come to an intelligent consensus on the minor and the major things in life, not to mention you are mindful of their true feelings. When Sarah and I feel like treating each other to something, it’s dynamic. There is no concrete prescription to our love. It flows like water and effortlessly moves about however it sees fit. Every molecule moving to the next moment in a shapeless, but controlled fashion. On Valentine’s Day, I look at the glib and distant faces of the men, and I have to laugh. Why? Because I was there and remember the deep seated resentment I had for being told like dog, how I should express the love I had in my heart. As if, Valentine’s Day is the only moment where I have to prove myself to my significant other. I’m sure there are some women who feel the way a lot of guys do on V-Day, but they are few and far between.
