The latest scandal against Muslims is the ban on the wearing of the Niqab (full face veil that reveals only the eyes) in France. The ban, enforced throughout France on April 11th, 2011, further demonizes the choices and rights of all Muslims globally. Muslim women who publically sport the Niqab are faced with a fine of 150 Euros ($215). Men found guilty of forcing women to wear the Niqab may be fined up to 60,000 Euros ($87,000) in addition to a possible two-year jail sentence. An estimated 1900 women wear the Niqab in France. Two-thirds of these women are French nationals with an estimated 90% over the age of 40. President Nicholas Sarkozy’s law was passed after the majority of French parliament and the public supported the idea that the Niqab imprisoned women and contradicted the secular nations values of equality and dignity.

The Niqab is a controversial issue in both Muslim and non-Muslim countries. Muslim scholars have argued for and against the wearing of the Niqab for centuries. Some look at the face veil as oppressive while others find it liberating. Who is right? Who is wrong? I don’t know the answers to the prior questions as absolutes but what I do know is the mere ban of the Niqab in itself is an act of oppression. France pride’s itself on being one of the leaders of the “free” world. France labels itself a country that tirelessly fights for women’s rights. France boasts laws that support the practice of religious freedom. Ironically, a country of liberty for all feels entitled to oppress a group of women who choose to wear the Niqab. There are two ways to examine this situation; firstly, from a religious perspective and secondly, from a human rights perspective.

Let us delve into the possible religious explanation of the Niqab. I have researched the Quran, Hadith and Sunnah and found a few evidences that may be interpreted as support for wearing the Niqab. There is ample evidence that proves the Prophet’s (SAW) wives covered their faces in the presence of non-mahram (non-guardian) men. There is evidence that proves Asma, who was not the Prophet’s (SAW) wife, covered her face. Easily, one can conclude that wearing the Niqab is halal (permissible). The aforementioned evidence can be used to argue against the ban on the Niqab from a religious perspective. According to the 1789 Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen,”No one may be questioned about his opinions, [and the] same [for] religious [opinions], provided that their manifestation does not trouble the public order established by the law” and “The law has the right to ward [i.e., forbid] only actions [which are] harmful to the society. Anything which is not warded [i.e., forbidden] by the law cannot be impeded, and no one can be constrained to do what it [i.e., the law] does not order.” The prior two clauses candidly state the French government cannot subjectively regulate and prohibit religious activity and may only do so to the extent that there is a need to safeguard the public.

Religious profiling based on dress choice is not an effective manner in securing the public as many examples confirm. On August 29th, 1969, Palestinian Muslim Leila Khaled was part of a team who hijacked a flight from Rome to Athens. She donned no Niqab, not even a headscarf. In June 2008, Maite Aranalde the world’s most wanted female terrorist and a non-Muslim, was sentenced to eight years in prison after being convicted in a Paris Court for criminal association with terrorist intent. In September 2010, France was on high alert after a would-be Muslim female suicide bomber threatened the transport system in Paris. Her whereabouts are still unknown and there is no connection to a Niqab. Colleen LaRose, a non-Muslim from Pennsylvania more popularly known as ‘Jihad Jane’ did not fit the popularized version of a “Muslim” terrorist. There have been very few women who have worn the Niqab and committed terrorist acts. In collaboration with prior mentioned examples one can safely conclude that the wearing of the Niaqb is not a security matter and the French government has yet to prove that it has been in the past.

Let us examine the human rights aspect of the Niqab ban. Let us remove the presumed religious affiliation of the Niqab from the equation. Let us focus solely on women’s rights in France. France has long been known for boasting its fight for all women, regardless of class, ethnicity, religion and race. Women in France are free to walk in Daisy Dukes and bra-type tops. Women in France are free to wear mini skirts with tank tops. Women in France are free to wear the hijab. Women in France are free to laze around topless on public beaches. Women in France are free to tattoo their entire bodies including their full face. Women in France are legally allowed to work in strip clubs that accommodate any paying member of the public. Women in France are allowed to pose in Chantelle bras and lace thongs on human-sized billboards. Yet, Muslim women are being banned from wearing a Niqab.

Banning the Niqab violates the rights of women who choose to wear the Niqab. This ban is a so-called movement to liberate women and ensure public security. However, one can equally argue that women who strut the streets half-naked may be a public security issue as well. One may argue based on statistics that the rate of rape and sexual harassment is higher in secular nations that have no limits on women’s dress. One may further argue that nudity and avant-garde dress are unhealthy for our children. However, such arguments would be considered a violation of women’s rights and thrown out of court in a heartbeat. There is no hard evidence that wearing the Niqab threatens public safety, public order, health, morals or the fundamental rights and freedoms of others. The ban on the wearing of the Niqab is only a hindrance in helping women who are coerced into wearing the Niqab and does absolutely nothing except impose unjust laws on those who choose to wear the Niqab. This ban will only serve to imprison women to their homes rather than liberate them.

Let us not be imprudent in our judgment and unjust in our laws. A ban on the Niqab violates the right to freedom from discrimination on the basis of both religion and gender. Furthermore, a ban on the Niqab is as much as a violation on women’s rights as it is a violation to force a woman to wear the Niqab.

A few days ago while I on the 1 train, I was brought to tears; these tears streamed down my cheeks as I tried to fathom the lack of compassion in so many hearts. My sweet son looked at me with a sort of confusion in his eyes as I inconspicuously wiped my tears away, smiling at him pretending to read a book.

An obvious addict and a young man, no more than 35 years old, was in the same car as I was, sorrowfully telling the story of how he contracted AIDS, how he was jumped by a couple of men a few weeks back, how he could not afford hospital payments to remove fragments of glass from his skull and how he was homeless. I don’t know how much of his story was true or how much of his story was a lie nor was his story the culprit in releasing such sad emotions within me. What I do know is that compassion should never be removed from our hearts regardless of one’s choices in life.

What brought me to tears was not the fact that this young man was an addict or HIV positive or homeless. It is what happened before the train stopped at the 96th street that upset me. This young man shuffled through the car holding up a brown paper cup asking for anyone to help. I personally do not give money to people who ask but I will buy a meal for them. I just don’t know where that money will be end up; maybe on a bottle of beer or on a 5 dollar hit.

As this man shuffled through the car on his bad leg supported by a cane he fell down. He landed right on his back unable to pull himself up again. He landed at the feet of a mid-aged woman and a young man. It might have been hard for him to get up because he lacked strength or maybe he was high or even a combination of both. But why do we as a society not feel the need to lift a finger and assist this man up? Have we become so cold and so disconnected than a human being is so easily neglected? One man actually got up, looked at him like a dog and walked right over him to change seats.

Now, I am all for not supporting those who choose destructive paths in their lives. However, I am also not for leaving someone to roll around like a dog on the floor while he apologizes and struggles to get up. Where is our compassion as a people? This man is still someone’s son and he may even be someone’s father, brother and/or husband. He may not deserve a dollar but he definitely does deserve a helping hand and a little bit of compassion. When the train came to a stop he eventually struggled to pick himself up and waddled of the train.

A reminder to us all!

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:

Those who are merciful have mercy shown to them by the All-Merciful.
Show mercy to those who are on earth, then He who is in Heaven will show mercy unto you. (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

I was watching the show (or at least trying to watch the show as Saud was trying to have a conversation with me about his shapes and colors) Monday December 6th, 2010 and I was a little concerned with a remark that was made by Condaleeza Rice and then later affirmed by Whoopi. We are of course, all entitled to opinions. My concern is when opinions dismiss facts and those facts are misinterpreted by the American public.

In this day and age, there is a lot of misunderstanding and suspicion directed at Muslims. It is important that facts are presented and respect is given to religions, cultures and belief systems other than those adhered to here in America. Sherri asked Condaleeza Rice about her experiences in more conservative countries where sometimes women are not given adequate respect and opportunities. I agree 100% that this is a serious issue that needs to be tackled consistently. My concern in this segment was how Condaleeza Rice responded. Her exact words were “…I would meet with these very very conservative leaders and one day I was meeting with a very conservative man who couldn’t even shake my hand because I was a woman. And at the end of it he said would you wait right here, I want you to meet my 13 year-old granddaughter. And out came this little girl in Muslim dress and she said ‘I want to be foreign minister too.’ And her grandfather just beamed. And I thought at that moment maybe there is some hope because that very prejudiced man sees a better future for his granddaughter.” Whoopi went on to say that maybe one day she will have to shake hands with men.

Now, most will be asking, what is the danger in what Rice said. Is it not the truth? To these questions, I answer no. In America we are taught to respect others religious beliefs. Accept people’s differences. Embrace others ways of life. In this case, religion and NOT prejudice plays a role in this man’s decision to not shake hands with a woman. The fact that he did not shake Condaleeza Rice’s hand made no difference in his ability to diplomatically speak and unite as two separate nations. The fact that there was no hand shake did not affect, in any way, the ability for a man and a woman to sit down and speak on political issues, to make political agreements or improve on foreign policy. This act was not prejudiced. It was merely a choice that this man makes for his religious beliefs.

It is slight hints such as these that lead the American public to sometimes think that the Middle East and other Muslim nations are backwards and retrogressive. The truth is, many Muslim nations are progressing at an alarming rate and are doing so while still adhering to Muslim teachings. We live in a world where each country and culture holds dear to their heart different beliefs. We cannot, as a world, look down on practices of others. It is unjust and unfair. Men and women have been shaking hands for centuries and I think it is sufficient to say that it really means nothing at the end of the day. Progress in this world will not be hinged on the handshake of a man and woman; rather on the efforts and diplomacy of intellectual and just men and women.

“I hope they’re paying you a little more than minimum wage to watch that baby!” She exclaimed in a thick Irish accent as I was getting ready to load Saud and myself into a cab. I turned around to see who she was speaking to. To my utter surprise it was me. “You poor thing” she continued to mumble, in reference to my broken toe I assumed? I politely smiled and responded with a simple “he is MY son.” She quickly apologized and added a “God bless you dear.” Then went on to run America’s name in the mud with a “in Europe they always offer to help.” In which I politely responded once again, “my cab driver is being very helpful.” I looked over at my cab driver who was Afghanistani and smiled.

As I sat quietly in the cab my mind was slowly beginning to fill up with random thoughts: “in Europe they do not offer to help any more or any less than they do here” “I have met as many helpful New Yorkers as unhelpful New Yorkers in my past 4 years in America.” But more than anything I was scratching my head trying to understand “why did this woman think I had to be a nanny?” But then there is the answer so evident in the very question I pondered: the color of my skin causes me to be associated with a “less fortunate individual only capable of a handful of jobs.”

It is quite interesting and scary all in one to think that she was actually trying to be supportive of me not realizing how insulting she actually was on many levels:

1. If I were a nanny, why feel so obliged to rub in my face your disgust and pity.
2. Why do you assume that I am a nanny rather than a mother?
3. Why stereotype me based on the color of my skin?

Then slowly it all started to make sense to me. The stares and glares at first myself and then Saud as we walked down certain streets and avenues in New York. I now realized that all this time those awkward looks were actually inquisitive eyes and minds. Curiousness of “whose baby is she caring for?”

I am forever flabbergasted at the senseless hierarchy of racial distinction (association) that seems to hover over our heads like a peaceful cloud before a deadly storm. I am also slowly starting to understand the social dysfunctions that contribute to such occurrences. I am reading a book called Whistling Vivaldi by Claude M. Steele. This book is an excellent resource into gaining a deep understanding of social identity here in America. No one race should read this book; it speaks of the importance of understanding identity threat to our own personal progress. This book dissects factors related to (indirectly and directly) societal progress, bettering group relations, equal opportunity and achieving an identity-integrated civil life.

Identity and stereotype threats are very dangerous. Many people often remark, “just get over the stereotype and move on.” It is not that simple. Many Whites worldwide have a preconceived notion about the progress and social existence of people of color. I have personally experienced this in Europe, America and even in the Middle East among Caucasians. The only way we can begin to eliminate such notions is to reduce the distance between us socially. This needs to start at home. There needs to be a focus on reducing these “threats” in schools, workplaces, gyms, neighborhoods and so on. We have to focus on making the identity less “inconvenient” as we come together, equally across identity lines. We cannot allow for our children to grow up in such a segregated world.

The time is 3:30 pm in my neighborhood and school is out. As I walk the streets of Kingsbridge Heights in the Bronx, I am taken over by sadness and disappointment. Sadness directed at our youth and disappointment directed at our adults. Ten minutes into my walk I witnessed a teenage boy smoking a joint behind a U Haul van, a teenage boy shoved a teenage girl forcefully (even though playfully) in the chest, a girl rapping vulgarly about her vagina and a boys penis, a young boy (must have been 10 or 11) trying to touch a young girls behind, the word M%&$#^ F%&#$%^ repeated by almost every child and a young teenage girl in Starbucks bawl her eyes out to her friend about her boyfriend pressuring her into sex.

As a teenager I was a rowdy young thing; somewhat of a bully and most definitely a rebel. However, I possessed a teen’s innocence; the innocence of a child. Other than trying to curse every now and then or trying to meet with a boy I was interested from time to time (which I hardly got away with because my parents were hawks in nature), my mind was focused on fun activities like sports, girlfriend hangouts, writing and school.

I look into the eyes of our youth and I see pain, sadness, unnecessary responsibility and emptiness. I see hyper sexualized boys and sexually objectified girls (by both their own doing and parental neglect). I see babies with babies. I see boys lashing out in anger towards one another. I see girls disrespecting their minds and bodies. I see boys disrespecting girls and girls disrespecting boys. I see emptiness. I see aimlessness. I see hopelessness. I see shamelessness. I see adults trapped in youngins’ bodies wishing they could escape; yet, still believing they are grown enough to pave the way to success. Yet, some don’t care to be successful.

I see mothers smiling proudly at an ill mannered young child whose voice is unpleasant and rude to those around. I see fathers neglecting their parental roles in other ways; avoiding being a father or physically present but not mentally there. I witness parents being friends to their children rather than disciplinarians. Today’s youth is lost but not to their own fault. How is a child to direct him/herself when he/she lacks the most crucial thing; a role model to follow and respect.

I remember when I was young it took a village to raise a child. If a child misbehaved the whole community stepped in to educate and direct that one child. The worst parts of American culture seem to dictate new standards to our adults and youth alike. The worst parts of American culture seem to have removed the innocence from our youth; forcing them into an adult-like role at a very young age. Who is to blame? Parents? Media? Technology? The education system? Our youth? Freedom (in an exaggerated form of freedom)? Or is it all of the previously stated combined?

I write this not to judge nor to blame but rather to find solutions; solutions to help our youth heal today, so they can lead tomorrow. I write this with love. I believe that our youth are only as strong as our adults. However, I fear that when today’s babies are having babies and parents are no longer parents, how does our next generation become a Barack Obama, a Sonya Sotomayor, or just simply educated, respectful and successful adults!

This post is well over due but as you know, I have a Boo Bear to deal with, so time is of the essence.

This past Valentines Day I was left speechless with disgust as I witnessed the most horrific scene at our local Applebee’s.

As most of you know, my husband and I do not celebrate Valentines Day for a number of reasons. However, Malik’s mom was visiting us that day and wanted to go out for lunch. Her choice of venue: Applebees. Now, since arriving in the US in 2007, I have never experienced Valentines Day in a public way. Malik and I always stay home on this day; so, to my surprise, I was shocked, literally, into silence, when I witnessed the following scenario.

As we were half way through our meal, a young couple was seated next to us for lunch. At first, everything seemed to be in place. Here was a young man taking his lady out for a meal. Sweet, right? Guess again.

About 15 minutes after they were seated, their food had arrived. From there everything went down hill for this poor young man. His date instantly threw a tantrum. With raised eyebrows, piercing eyes and deathly tone she stated “what is this? This is not broccoli!” For a moment, I looked up at her like she was crazy. That lasted a moment though because it turned out she was a total nut. Her date was like a scared puppy dog, confused on what to do; yet, he signaled for the waiter to come over.

As the waiter approached, she said “what is this? I asked for broccoli.” So, the waiter stated that they were out of broccoli since it was a busy business day and that they had served the mixed seasonal vegetables instead. With her eyebrows now at a 90 degree angle and her eyes piercing anger and fear into her boyfrind and then the waiter, she demanded “I want to speak to the manager.” I thought to myself, how odd, all this hullabaloo over a side of seasonal vegetables.

The manager approached, apologizing for the lack of broccoli, stating that he would change the entire meal with no charge. At this, the young woman just rolled her eyes, looked at her date and waved her hand NO! The manager continued to explain the situation further but she was not willing to hear another word.

After about a 7 minute argument about broccoli and seasonal vegetables the lady stands up, puts her coat on, glares at her date and walks out of the restaurant; leaving her date fumbling with his meal, glasses, keys and wallet. I was in complete and utter shock, as were so many other customers there that afternoon.

This is just one incident that I witnessed of many similarly maddening situations. The sad part about all of this is that I realize that for too many women, a relationship is rarely about the quality time spent together and more so about where they dine, what gifts they receive, what holidays are celebrated and how they define appreciation.

Ladies, a strong and successful relationship is not built or based on what restaurant you dine at or what vegetables come with your side. Ladies, stop looking and man-made holidays for love and appreciation. Focus on finding a good man who loves you 365 days a year, who appreciates you 365 days a year, who will be a good husband to you 365 days a year, who will be a good father to your children 365 days a year and who will randomly show you his love in his own way through the year.

Men, PLEASE STOP CATERING TO WOMENS INSECURITIES AND MAN-MADE HOLIDAYS. Give only when YOU want to and avoid forced traditions because you think it is expected of you. Show your woman your love in your own unique way. Once you begin to do that you will be happier, sincerer and more respected.

Our beautiful son that Allah has blessed us with. Mashallah.

This blog post was posted by my wife and although I try to keep topics of racism and xenophobia off this blog, I was compelled to re-post a note that my wife posted on Facebook. Just as a reminder:

O mankind! Lo! We have created you male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that ye may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct. Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware. – Surah al-Hujurat 49:13

I cease to understand why people cannot live united without scrutiny and judgment.

I was in Brooklyn yesterday with Malik and Saud. We were in the Atlantic Avenue/Flatbush Avenue vicinity running errands and enjoying the sun. In the span of one hour I observed so much unsaid criticism that I was reaffirmed with the notion that people have no trust in one another and fear the different.

First scenario:

As we entered a halal meat market all seemed fine; or, so I thought. As we approached the butcher at the back of the store I started to feel an instant resentment. I couldn’t figure it out at first but later put two and two together. Before the butcher served us, he was helping an Palestinian woman. His tone was very respectful, extremely courteous and ever so attentive. After she was handed (by hand from butcher to lady) her goods, he respectfully greeted her with an “Asalaam Alaikum” and she was on her way.

Now, it was our turn to be helped. I noticed instantly that the butcher’s entire demeanor had shifted. He went from respectful and helpful to passive and dull. Malik began to order what we needed politely. Yet there was hardly any response from the butcher. He assisted us in an almost tomb-like manner avoiding eye contact when he could.

After our chicken and ground beef was sliced and cut, it was left on the counter top with no “Asalaam Alaikum,” “thank you,” “do you need anything else,” or even a head nod. He proceeded to talk to his fellow butchers’, share some jokes and cut a sheep. As he turned to carry the sheep onto the weighing scale, he realized we were still standing there. Yes, we still needed some more items. Malik spoke first, letting him know that we still needed to order some more items.

Malik proceeded to order chicken breasts. At this point I decided to interfere and speak in Arabic as I realized we were receiving such special treatment as he assumed we were not Arabs. In Arabic, I asked him to slice the chicken breasts thin. He responded automatically by mocking me. I had used a Saudi word for slice and he was Palestinian and did not think my term was appropriate. He mocked me by repeating my word twice and then saying in English “you mean slice.” I, in turn, reiterated my same term back to him twice. He realized I was not amused and silently continued to slice the chicken.

His demeanor changed a little after this brief encounter in Arabic and he decided to ask if we would like anything else. We said no thank you and proceeded to the check out counter.

Second scenario:

We were still at the meat market when two Muslim sisters walk in.
First, she proceeded to let the salesman know that she was unhappy with the Quran plaque being on the floor outside. I agree. The plaque should not be on the floor with Quranic verses and Allah’s names. However, it was HOW she approached him. She walked in and very disrespectfully says “the plaque…on the floor…there’s Allah’s name on it.” She said it in such a unclear and arrogant manner that the salesman was baffled at first, as was I, as I had no clue what she was mumbling about. A situation like that can be dealt with in one simple politely stated sentence…”sir, the Quran plaque that you have outside on the floor should be removed as it is haram.” End of story.

Second, the scrutiny Malik and I got from one of the two sisters was unbelievable. First, she heard Malik say, Inshallah. This automatically led to a glare at me from her. She looked me up and down then proceeded to look at Malik up and down too. This type of scrutiny of “where are they from?” “Why is she not in hijab?” or whatever else was going through her mind is totally un-Islamic. We should not be judging each other all the time without knowing.

Third, a non-Muslim Caucasian woman was in the store purchasing some items. The same Muslim woman who glared at me and Malik was now literally twisting her eyebrows up, curling her lip, glaring at this woman up and down while telling her friend “what is she doing in here?” through eye contact.

Third scenario:

Malik and I decided to do shopping at Atlantic Center Mall. Once again, the scrutiny begins. Now, instead of Arab Muslims or African American Muslim women glaring at Malik and I; it was now African American women glaring at us because we are an interracial couple. Amongst the many glares at Malik, then me, then Saud, then back up at Malik and I again; one particular woman stood out.

While at DSW standing in line at the cashier, this woman decides to completely stop her shopping spree to eyeball me and Malik. She was not discreet about it nor was she polite. She just stood near the bag section and glared at us both until we had finished paying and left the store.

I deal with this regularly but am utterly fed up with all this negativity. Whether it be Arabs, African Americans, Whites, Africans, Latino/as’, South East Asians or Caribbeans’; I am sick and tired of peoples glares, judgments, assumptions and scrutiny. I truly feel that people need to work on their biases and insecurities. People need to learn to be more tolerant of others regardless of race, religion, class and ethnicity. It is not mine, Malik’s nor Saud’s problem if you cannot deal with your own insecurities. Find another way to deal with it! And if one more person labels America as the great melting pot, I think I will have to slap some sense into their head.

Well, at least I enjoyed my fish and chips from the Chipshop.